i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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