Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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