The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
