Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
