i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
