god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
