so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
