i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
