But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
