She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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