i jhust puked up my retainher.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
