no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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