wat bout pragnant strippers??
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We need to feng shui this bitch.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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