This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
