i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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