It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This show inspires me to have sex in space
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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