I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
