She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
