Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize