man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize