I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
