Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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