Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
