The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
