I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Randomize
