I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
