All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
