I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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