if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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