Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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