Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
