chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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