Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
