my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
