the day after is always just damage control
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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