Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
