My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
