Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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