How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize