That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
