You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
