Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
