Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
