The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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