somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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