She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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