I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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