Heybabeimwearingurpanties
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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