I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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