I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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