I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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