He asked me if I "almost moaned"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
My dick has a subreddit
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
