I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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