is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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