I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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