I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
